can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
