It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
if only i could text you this smell
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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