She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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