am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
