sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
