And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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