I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
