Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
