Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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