Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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