he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
