Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
