I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize