Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Randomize
