There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need moral support for this bender
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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