It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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