Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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