Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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