i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
