Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
