Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
