It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i think i just lost a toe
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
