3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
