we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
