just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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