i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize