on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
