Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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