Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
