He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
