That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I will be naked everywhere
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
