where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
