Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
