bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
