I cannot find my penis.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
so much tequila, so little girl.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
