if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
