ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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