is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
