im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
