She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
