I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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