i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
