I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
