I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize