need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
