READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
