Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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