So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
