Pappa wants mamma naked
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
