So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
