That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
