Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
