i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
