i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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