everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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