dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
