Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize