I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
