Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
