All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
